Mock the Week: Too Hot for TV

Everyone's favorite St. Bernard returns in this family film about man's best friend. Richard Newton, his wife Beth and kids Brennan and Sara shove off in their camper for a road trip. Along the way, they gain a new passenger: slobbery Beethoven. The Newtons plan to return Beethoven to his owner -- but not before he turns hero when a pair of thieves enter the picture.

Mouri Kogoro is called to a special case in the ancient capital of Kyoto. There, Conan meets Heiji and they team up once again to solve the case, recover the stolen Healing Buddha statue, and even discover the identity of Heiji's first love.

The toys throw Ken and Barbie a Hawaiian vacation in Bonnie's room.

A joinery instructor at a rehab center refuses to take a new teen as his apprentice, but then begins to follow the boy through the hallways and streets.

When Colonel James Braddock is told that his Asian wife and 12-year-old son are still alive in Communist Vietnam, he mounts a one-man assault to free them. Armed with the latest high-tech firepower, Braddock fights his way into the heart of the country and ends up battling his way out with several dozen abused Amerasian children in tow! Struggling to keep them alive while outmaneuvering a sadistic Vietnamese officer, Braddock ignites the jungle in a blazing cross-country race for freedom.

When terrorists kill a cop's brother and disable his father, he fights back against the smuggling of guns and drugs which plagues his country.

In the 70s, there was Merckx and there were the others. Ghislain Lambert was one of the others. This is his story, a quite simple one. The story of a modest Belgian bike racer. His greatest ambition in life? To become a champion. His greatest tragedy? Not having the legs his heart deserves.

A movie crew invades a small town whose residents are all too ready to give up their values for showbiz glitz.

Joseph "Doc" Frail is a doctor with a past he's trying to outrun. While in Montana, he comes across a mining camp with a hanging tree and rescues a man named Rune from the noose. With Rune as his servant, Frail decides to settle down, and he takes over as town doctor. He meets Elizabeth, who is suffering from shock, and the two soon fall in love. But when Elizabeth is attacked, Frail's attempt to help her lands them both in trouble.

With "little captain" Cambrai raising serious doubts about the reality of the so-called "super spy," Colonel Toulouse kidnaps Christine and forces Francois to play again the character of "The Tall Blond Man with One Black Shoe" in some fake adventures. All this to stop the investigation into the death of Colonel Milan.

Sue Ellen Crandell is a teenager eagerly awaiting her mother's summer-long absence. While the babysitter looks after her rambunctious younger siblings, Sue Ellen can party and have fun. But then the babysitter abruptly dies, leaving the Crandells short on cash. Sue Ellen finds a sweet job in fashion by lying about her age and experience on her résumé. But, while her siblings run wild, she discovers the downside of adulthood

After the trolls' victory over the Snow Queen, Orm claims that he is destined to marry the princess and inherit great power.

The famous Italian football coach Oronzo Canà has retired to a villa in Apulia. Now, old and tired, he is enjoying a quiet life there, cultivating his vineyard, when suddenly he is summoned to Milan, in northern Italy. There the elderly chairman of a great Lombard ("Longobarda") club is suffering from dementia and has lost his powers of judgement, and the club's manager has been fired. He has decided to bring back Oronzo Canà as trainer, remembering him from his great football team of thirty years before, tasking him with bringing the club back to its old winning ways. Oronzo puts his trust in the intervention of a Russian billionaire who has bought the club for promotion. But it is a deception.

Fifteen-year-old Suzanne seeks refuge from a disintegrating family in a series of impulsive, promiscuous affairs. Her fulsome sexuality further ratchets up the suppressed passions of her narcissistic brother, insecure mother and brooding, authoritarian father.

Alphonse Brown, who firmly believes he is the bastard son of James Brown, meets up with his best friend Scotch after Brown gets out of jail. On their way to Paris to begin careers as recording artists, the pair stumbles across a potent type of marijuana that was engineered by the Nazis. Their decision to begin selling the stuff leads to a variety of people chasing after them.

Platon Ryabinin, a pianist, is traveling by train to a distant town of Griboedov to visit his father. He gets off to have lunch during a twenty minute stop at Zastupinsk railway station. He meets Vera, a waitress, after he refuses to pay her for the disgusting food he doesn't even touch and misses his train due to police investigation of the incident. His passport is then accidentally taken away from him by Andrei, Vera's fiancé, and his money is stolen as he waits for the next train to Griboedov. Vera learns that Platon is about to get sentenced and sent to prison in the Far East for a car accident he isn't guilty for. During the few days that Platon has to spend in Zastupinsk he and Vera develop feelings for each other...

Harry Crumb is a bumbling and inept private investigator who is hired to solve the kidnapping of a young heiress which he's not expected to solve because his employer is the mastermind behind the kidnapping.

Using every known means of transportation, several savants from the Geographic Society undertake a journey through the Alps to the Sun which finishes under the sea.

Through an ancient spell, a boy changes into a sheepdog and back again. It seems to happen at inopportune times and the spell can only be broken by an act of bravery....

A confirmed bachelor sees his beliefs about commitment put to the test when a beautiful woman—deserted by her fiancée—forces him to take his place in the romantic trip she had planned.